The Glamorous Life

If you asked 15 year old me what I’d be doing 30 years later, you get a response along the lines of writing for Rolling Stone, having best seller books, doing poetry readings at all the cool places and hanging with rock stars. I would live in the West Village and lead such a glamorous life.

  
Rock star life indeed.

45 year old me lives in a Midwestern suburb. I have bills to pay and a house to clean. I work full time and then shuttle my kiddo to activities and friends’ houses (at 13, they are no longer called play dates). My weekend  nights consist of watching ghost adventures & ancient aliens on Netflix. Going to the gym is my happy hour.

  

Sometimes it’s hard to deal with the fact that a dream may have gone dormant. For me, it led to a lot of self esteem issues because I wasn’t leading the life I wanted to-so I’m a loser, baby. I stopped writing for a long time. I’d do little mommy blog posts here and there and an occasional freelance piece, but not really writing. I wasn’t disciplined in anything I was doing in my life, honestly. 

Even though who I thought I’d be at 45 didn’t come to pass, I have led the most excellent life so far. I’ve had amazing adventures, with more still to come. I let others dim my lights, because they couldn’t handle me shining so brightly. It was easier to keep those lights on low with another bag of chips & a Coke, than to turn it up. Sitting on the couch surfing Facebook became more important than working out or writing or experiencing life first hand.

   
I want to live, not just exist. To me, that is the most glamorous life of all

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s