It’s been a while since I’ve written. My life has been turned upside down over the last few months, and while it hadn’t got much better as of today (external circumstances beyond my control), how I’m handling it has.
I’m in a very lonely place and it’s hard to admit that. I’m not overly social to start with, but damn I could use a friend once in a while. Sitting vigil at my moms bedside basically watching her die all my lonesome, to put it bluntly, sucked monkey balls.
I did realize my internal fortitude and I’m a lot stronger than I ever imagined I was. There were a few moments that I thought would break me, but I came back stronger than ever. I also realized that I can only rely on myself, because whoever I thought had my back, didn’t.
There’s nothing like watching everything you’ve ever want crumble in front of you and realize that you were mostly living a lie. That’s a bitter pill to swallow. However, like the big gal I am, I took my medicine and now I’m on the road to healing.